While dogs and humans are psychologically very different (children have the potential to learn language and evolve into socially conscious beings; you can still swear in front of a dog), there is something to be said for the basic animal psychology that we always share. Namely that we need to know that the boss is indeed the boss and the fact that reward reinforces behavior.
Cesar Millan encourages leadership through calm-assertive energy (See Millan's blog on Energy as Communication). Human children may be capable of learning language at an early age, but it doesn't matter what your words are if your energy and tone do not reinforce the message. Saying "no" like a pleasant suggestion gives children room to test you. If a parent or a teacher doesn't seem certain of the command-- if their tone doesn't say "stop that, now", then the child will push the limits to see just how long it will take you to back up your words.
A very clear, confident direction tells children that you mean what you say and that you are in control. An adult in power is fulfilling a child's need for security, much like a human in charge fills the role of a pack leader to a dog. Clear and confident means firm, but not angry. Anger is a nervous emotion and tells a child (as well as a canine) that you are upset and that you are not in control.
"He who angers you, conquers you."
-Elizabeth Kenney
Millan's reason for most poor behavior is pent up energy and boredom. Have you ever heard teachers and parents talk about how the bright kids are always the ones who get into the most trouble? Bored dogs will shred your furniture and jump on your guests. Bored kids have much more creative imaginations and much more destructive capabilities (thumbs!) to make you tug at your hair.
Kids need plenty of exercise and mental stimulation. Keep your kids playing outside and keep them intellectually challenged and you will have a lot less problems. Encourage children to develop their imaginations to stimulate and entertain themselves. Cultivate a love of books and you'll find endless entertainment that is far more engaging than turning on Nick Toons.
Lastly, Millan reinforces good behavior and does not reward the bad. Attention is a reward and bored children will do horrible things for attention. If you are about to lose your mind with a child having a fit, try turning your back to him. Cesar Millan turns his back to excitable dogs and talks to other humans so as to show the animal that he is not the center of your universe.
Children before a certain stage of moral development are egocentric. They do not understand that other people have feelings like they do. A five-year-old child can hurt a friend and turn around confused and upset that the friend hurt them back. They need to know that the world does not revolve around them, that we are not just figments of their conscious perception. Next time a child is having a tantrum, turn around. I have closed a child refusing to behave out of a story circle and kept on reading to the other children. As soon as he (and in this case, he stands in for multiple successful employs of this method) noticed that we were going on without him, he sat down and behaved so that he, too, could participate in reading time.
Never leave a small child who is having a tantrum unsupervised. Always keep your peripheral vision on them, but give the illusion that you don't even notice their fit. Attention is positive reinforcement. Don't give it to a child who doesn't earn it.
Likewise, when they are doing the right thing, be sure to reward them with praise and privilege. I always choose the preschoolers who are following directions to go first. Reinforce the good behavior when it happens and keep it consistent.
Coincidentally, after writing this blog I started browsing for an appropriate video to leave you with. I'm not the first person to want to link Millan to child rearing.
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